Abusive Relationships in "The Great Gatsby"

Was Tom and Daisy’s relationship abusive? Was Daisy and Gatsby’s relationship abusive? Did these relationships reflect relationships of the time period?

Yes, both Tom and Gatsby’s relationship is abusive in different ways. This also did reflect some of the relationship behaviors of the 1920s.

Tom and Daisy’s relationship and why it was abusive. Tom put every kind of abuse on Daisy. You can tell Tom was an abusive person because of the way he acted towards other women, such as Myrtle. “Some time toward midnight Tom Buchanan and Mrs. Wilson stood face to face discussing, in impassioned voices, whether Mrs. Wilson had any right to mention Daisy's name. "‘Daisy! Daisy! Daisy!’ shouted Mrs. Wilson. ‘I'll say it whenever I want to! Daisy! Dai ––’Making a short deft movement, Tom Buchanan broke her nose with his open hand.” (Fitzgerald 1925) There is another scene at dinner when Daisy infers that Tom may be abusive to her. “‘Look!’ she complained ‘I hurt it.’... ‘You did it, Tom,’ she said accusingly. ‘I know you didn’t mean to, but you did do it.’” (Fitzgerald 1925). Daisy thinks she is bragging about her “brute man” but she’s actually showing how abusive Tom is. Tom’s tendencies with Myrtle show that he is probably the same way with his wife. Usually if someone has abusive tendencies with other people, they are most likely abusive with their spouse. "An abuser will beat any partner if the individual is involved with the abuser long enough for the cycle of abuse to begin. Circumstances do not make a person an abusive personality." (Abuser Tricks). Tom also isolates Daisy which is a form of abuse. "An abuser will attempt to isolate the victim by severing the victim's ties to outside support and resources. The batterer will accuse the victim's friends and family of being 'trouble makers.' The abuser may block the victim's access to use of a vehicle, work, or telephone service in the home." (Abuser Tricks). Also when Daisy said that Tom hurt her finger, she was practically telling everyone that Tom abuses her, but without actually coming out and saying it. Daisy may not even realize that she is in an abusive relationship but she does know that the relationship does not make her happy.

Accurate..

Daisy and Gatsby’s relationship could have also been abusive but in different ways that Tom and Daisy’s was. Gatsby was not physically hitting Daisy or verbally putting her down but he was very controlling with her and tried to take control of Daisy’s feelings. Gatsby walked over and stood beside her.“‘Daisy, that’s all over now,’ he said earnestly. ‘It doesn’t matter any more. Just tell him the truth — that you never loved him — and it’s all wiped out forever. She looked at him blindly. ‘Why — how could I love him — possibly?’ ‘You never loved him.’She hesitated.” (Fitzgerald 1925). This quote shows that Gatsby is trying to control her feelings. He’s trying to change her mind and make her say that she never loved Tom, even though she knows that’s untrue. Gatsby’s obsession with Daisy could also be seen as abusive. Gatsby makes his entire life about Daisy. He gets money for Daisy, throws parties to get Daisy to pay attention to him, bought his house across from hers, and centers everything he does around getting Daisy back.

Gatsby expects too much out of Daisy, which can be abusive. An abuser expects the victim to meet all of the abuser's needs (Abuser Tricks). Gatsby’s obsessive behavior with Daisy can also be seen as abusive. Gatsby also begins to stalk Daisy by knowing everything about her. "Stalking is a form of dating violence in which the victim is under constant surveillance." (Revilla 2015). 

I think they meant "Truly obsessed with her". Still a bad moral though.

These relationships reflect the reflect the relationships of the time period. A lot of people didn’t know about all of the types of abuse in this time period. Jordan and Nick also don’t see much of a problem with Tom and Daisy’s relationship and Gatsby and Daisy's relationship. Nick and Jordan know that Tom and Daisy’s relationship isn’t great but they don’t seem to be too alarmed by it, when they should be. Nick did tell Daisy to leave Tom a few times, but he wasn't too concerned about telling her to get out of the relationship because Tom was abusive. (Fitzgerald 1925). Domestic violence wasn’t taken very seriously in the 1920’s. “All states made 'wife beating' illegal by 1920. However, only since the 1970's has the criminal justice system begun to treat domestic violence as a serious crime, not as a private family matter.” (Cheryl 2002). Not a lot of people knew about different types of abuse also. Types of abuse and warning signs of abuse were not advertised until recently (Cheryl 2002).   

I mean if they were advertising stuff like this, they probably weren't too concerned with healthy relationships.

Someone might argue that “Tom and Daisy’s relationship wasn’t abusive, you never saw a scene when Tom hit Daisy!”. That is true, we did never see a specific scene when Tom hit Daisy but we did see multiple scenes when Tom was controlling Daisy. Abuse isn’t just hitting your partner. It can be multiple things such as control, isolation, obsession, guilt, etc. (Smith 2016). “‘Sit down, Daisy,’ Tom’s voice groped unsuccessfully for the paternal note.” (Fitzgerald 1925). This scene shows Tom trying to control Daisy’s behavior. Tom knows that Daisy is scared of him so he orders her around knowing that Daisy will obey. "Your abuser may use a variety of intimidation tactics designed to scare you into submission. Such tactics include making threatening looks or gestures, smashing things in front of you, destroying property, hurting your pets, or putting weapons on display. The clear message is that if you don't obey, there will be violent consequences." (Smith 2016).

In conclusion we can see that Tom abused Daisy in many different ways, Gatsby’s obsession and control over Daisy could be seen as abusive, and both of these relationships reflected how relationships were in the 1920’s. Abuse isn’t always just hitting or punching, it can be in many different forms. Everyone should know the warning signs of abuse and the different types of abuse. Every kind of abuse is just as difficult to deal with as the other. If you know someone in an abusive relationship getting them help and supporting them is the best thing you can do.

Works Cited:

"Domestic Violence and Abuse." : Signs of Abuse and Abusive Relationships. N.p., n.d. Web. 31 May 2016.

Fitzgerald, F. Scott. "The Great Gatsby, by F. Scott Fitzgerald." : Contents. N.p., 1925. Web. 31 May 2016.

"New Hope for Women." New Hope for Women. N.p., n.d. Web. 31 May 2016.

Revilla, Lauri. "Warning Signs of a Dangerous Obsessive Relationship."LIVESTRONG.COM. LIVESTRONG.COM, 24 Apr. 2015. Web. 31 May 2016.

Smith. "Deadly Abuse Cycle Starts with Obsessive Control." West Palm Beach News. N.p., n.d. Web. 31 May 2016.Smith. "Deadly Abuse Cycle Starts with Obsessive Control." West Palm Beach News. N.p., n.d. Web. 31 May 2016.

My Happy Place

I have multiple happy places that I think of when I need to. The first and most important happy place to me is with my horse, Bella. Anywhere I am with her makes me happy but the one I like the most is on a long, beautiful trail ride with her. Trail riding with my horse is a happy place for me because I enjoy being in the wilderness a lot. Actually, anywhere in the woods where it's quiet and serene is a happy place for me. The woods are so calming. I love trail riding so much because there's nothing but the woods, you, and the horse. You can just sit there and appreciate everything about the world and the beauty of it. When I'm upset at all the ugliness of the world or just frustrated with my life the first thing I think of is trail riding with my girl. Even when it's not perfect weather outside you can still appreciate the beauty of everything. When I'm riding my horse I feel unstoppable and so calm. I enjoy my horse in every aspect of riding, but there is just something so perfect about trail riding. She also just finds little ways to make me smile or laugh when were wandering around the woods. She'll spook at a branch or splash in the water and I just can't help but enjoy everything about the moment I am currently in. The difference from trail riding and when you're in a show you are excited and anxious and you get have the up and down roller coaster of emotions with showing. When you're trail riding it's so serene. You are so calm and happy. You can only think of the moment you are currently in when you are trail riding. I think it's almost impossible for me to be upset, stressed, anxious, or worried at all when I'm on a trail ride. It is definitely somewhere I think of when I'm stressed out. It's definitely my happy place.

A little moment like this is what I live for.

About Me

I'm really horrible at describing myself but oh well. I am 17 years old, I live in Grove City and go to The South-Western Career Academy. I work at Panda Express (the worst place ever). I enjoy just about every genre of music. I love animals more than anything. Like I love dogs and horses so much. I hate most people I meet. I'm really claustrophobic, if you bring me into a large crowd of people I will punch you in the face. I'm also hella self-conscious with really bad trust issues so that's fun. Anyways I have a Standardbred horse named Bella and a mutt named Logan. My favorite thing to do is show my horse and spend time with her. I'm pretty shy and unless you start a conversation with me I'm most likely not going to talk to you. I'm the worst person ever at "small talk". I'm very OCD so things that aren't organized and clean stress me out a lot. People describe me as nice, generous, and pretty funny. I agree with that for the most part, except I think I'm actually really rude. I look like trash 90% of the time anyone sees me. I'm really horrible at makeup, fashion, and looking like a decent person who's not sick. I'm this weird in-between of "I like the idea of makeup and hair and pretty things" and I also really like playing in the mud and wearing ball caps and doing things that make people think I'm a lesbian. But seriously though I can't count how many times people have genuinely thought I was gay, nothing wrong with that though cause 99% of the time gay people are way cooler and nicer than straight people. Also I really don't like school because I have to wake up early. I seriously love sleep so much. If you wake me up I will consider murdering you for about 5 minutes before my rational brain comes in and is like "Hey Adriannah, it's me, rational brain. How ya doing buddy? I know you really want to murder that person but if you go to jail you can't see your horse and dog and I don't think you would enjoy that too much (also the food sucks) so we should probably not kill somebody today. Okay, well I'll see you in a couple hours when you want to kill the really horrible racist kid in your class who only says dumb things and talks too loudly. Bye buddy!'". I also don't do "traditional" sports because in horrible at them. I love watching football and baseball, but if I try to play either of them I look like a blind chicken running around and I usually get hurt. I also literally have no life. If I'm not working or at school I'm either with my horse or sleeping. My life kinda sucks but in a "I'm actually pretty privileged and blessed and my problems are only first world problems" kinda way. I hope no one reads this.

Re-reading this I kinda realized that a tapped into some weird parts of my brain and life..... Probably not gonna take anything out though.....

3 Reasons To Buy A Gaited Horse

3 Reasons You Should Buy A Gaited Horse

By: Adriannah Parsons

Why buy a gaited horse vs. a “regular horse”? There are many reasons. Whether you know nothing about horses or you’re a skillful equestrian, gaited horses are always a good option. Horses aren’t for everybody but if you’re thinking about buying one consider a gaited horse. There are many types of horses for different types of riding or “disciplines”, but gaited horses are extremely versatile and can fit under many types of disciplines.

3.) A Smooth Ride

Gaited horses move in a different way than other horses, making riding them a lot easier (Pascoe 2001). Trotting horses move in a two-beat gait where the horses diagonal legs move in unison. The horse moves in an up and down “bouncing” movement. Depending on the breed of gaited horse they move in many different gaits. The most common gait of a gaited horse is the Rack. When a horse racks the two legs on one side move in unison.The rack also has a shorter stride length than the trot (Stern 2011). A rack looks as though the horse is walking with his hind legs and trotting with his front legs. When riding a trotting horse you either have to post (move up and down) with the horse’s trot or learn to sit the trot which takes some time to learn. When riding a racking horse you move from side to side rather than up and down like with a trot. This makes the ride much smoother because you can just move with the horse rather than having to learn how to ride it. Essentially a racking horse is much easier to ride (Pascoe 2001). Gaited horses are also a good type of horse for people with medical problems that make riding more difficult and painful for them (Moor 2005). “Through generations of breeding, gaited horses also tend to have mellow temperaments” (Stern 2011). You usually don’t feel sore after riding a gaited horse, like you do after riding a trotting horse for a long time. Gaited horses are also gaining some popularity. From 1977 to 2005 the number of Tennessee Walking Horse Registers in the U.S. went from 6,212 to 13,500 (Kilby 2005). This concept makes gaited horses great trail horses because you can ride them for long periods of time without being in pain (Stern 2011).

Trotting Horse https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FwLbXcp4X4g

Racking Horse https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D_vLIO7Z8lQ

Who wants to bounce up and down the whole ride like that?

2.)They Are Extremely Versatile and GREAT Show Horses!

Contrary to popular opinion gaited horses can do more than just trail ride. Gaited horses are just like trotting horses. They can ride all different types of disciplines. (Jahiel) People seem to think that just because a horse is gaited means that they can’t do things like jump, barrel race, or herd cattle. Gaited horse are capable of all of these things. A horse will do whatever you train them to do regardless of their natural movement. People also believe that you can’t show gaited horse. Which is COMPLETELY untrue (Jahiel). “From ranch work to police work, to handicapped-riding programs there are hard-working gaited horses everywhere. They often do well in open competitions, and are increasingly popular for such activities as competitive trail riding and endurance riding” (Jahiel). Unless a class in a show says “Walk/Trot No rack” you can show your gaited horse in whatever class you like. There are even specific shows and classes just for gaited horse to show how great they are!

Yeah, gaited horses make “terrible” show horses.

1.) Yes, They Can Actually Canter!

Also contrary to popular believe gaited horses have the ability to canter. Most people believe that gaited horses can only rack and walk. Just like any other horse, if you teach them to do something they will most likely do it. A lot of gaited horse owners do not allow their horse to canter as fear that at a faster rack they will break into a canter (What’s So Special…). That completely depends on the horse. Some gaited horses will break into a canter and some won’t, it just depends on the horse. Some gaited horses even naturally canter without you having to train them to do so. The best way to teach a gaited horse to canter is to teach them a very specific cue for the canter that they won’t confuse with any other cue (What’s So Special…). Most riders of gaited horses wish to improve the forward speed and extension of the faster gait for their breed, so most teach a specific cue for the canter (What’s So Special…). Gaited horses often have some of the best canters because they have a naturally swift and beautiful movement to them. Gaited horses are capable of a lot more than people give them credit for.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OY7l81HVQDI

Hmmmm, looks like a “real” canter to me!

As you can see gaited horses are a lot more capable than a lot of people give them credit for. They are very fun to ride, they are very versatile, they are amazing show horses, and they can canter just like other horses. There are many different breeds to choose from and different horses to suit your particular skill level and necessities. Gaited horses are not for everyone but they are definitely a type of horse to notice and consider since they are so underrated. If you are thinking about getting a horse I would highly recommend a gaited breed due to their many talents and just being overall wonderful horses!

Works Cited:

Carpenter, Brandon. "Gaited Horse Myths and Mendacities." Gaited Horse Myths and Mendacities. N.p., n.d. Web. 11 Apr. 2016.

Jahiel, Jessica, PhD. "10 Gaited-Horse Myths: Busted!" N.p., n.d. Web.

Kilby, Emily R. "The Demographics of the U.S. Equine Population." N.p., 2005. Web.

Moors, Debbie. "The Golden Gait." Horse & Rider 44.4 (2005): 112.Middle Search Plus. Web. 6 Apr. 2016.

Pascoe, Elaine. "Go Gaited!." Horse & Rider 40.8 (2001): 62. Middle Search Plus. Web. 6 Apr. 2016.

Stern, Nicholas C. "Exhibition showcases gaited horses' smooth ride, mellow manners." Frederick News-Post, The (MD) 13 Nov. 2011: Newspaper Source. Web. 5 Apr. 2016.

"What Is so Special About Gaited Horses?" Special about Gaited Horses. N.p., n.d. Web. 19 Apr. 2016.